working with anger

September 9th, 2012

Sometimes people ask me a question like, “How do I work with my anger?” I give them an answer like this.

Don’t work with your anger. Anger isn’t workable. Anger doesn’t listen and wants to do everything its own way. Why would you want to work with something like that? Better to take the work away from anger. Give it time off.

Work with your absence of anger instead. Give it wide latitude and lots of responsibility. Feed it with laughter and forgetting. Soon, your absence of anger will take over the department, then the division, then the whole company. It is a good worker, and will do anything asked of it except come to work angry.

Beginner’s Mind One-Day Meditation Retreat on Sept. 23 in LA.

The Art of Non-Parenting: Discovering the Wisdom of Easy, and Deeper Still: Breath & Meditation Workshop on Oct. 20-21 in Wash. DC.

Subscribe to my newsletter  • Friend me •  Like my page • Follow me


  1. when we came into the part of parenting that required more stamina than i had/have and anger became such a convenient way to turn, i decided that i needed to give myself a time out. and it works as well for me as it does for our small people. they call me on my anger, i ask for a time out and it so quickly lets equilibrium reign. it is such a good reminder…to remember anger is a choice. and not anger is a choice too. a very very valid one.

    Comment by amiee — September 9, 2012 @ 7:19 pm

  2. Your post and the comment by Amiee are both examples of valuable writing that I hope gets complied and published in a book and an ebook.

    Comment by Bill — September 10, 2012 @ 3:55 am

  3. Laugh, laugh, laugh :-))

    Comment by Paul Brennan — September 10, 2012 @ 7:49 am

  4. Oh yes Amiee, I have been there. Anger makes (every)ones heart such a very lonely and sad place. Not just my heart but the heart of everyone who is involved. Once I let it go I got to know and love my childeren so much more. I also saw how my impatience masked my fear of not knowing how to solve the issue that was brought up and my being overwhelmed by the issue or problem at hand.
    Have a wonderful day!!!

    Comment by Simone — September 11, 2012 @ 2:04 am

  5. I’ve read this many times, sadly, I am lost.
    I want understanding, but confusion is my friend.

    Comment by MJ — September 15, 2012 @ 11:35 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

archives by month