where in the world

October 12th, 2022

If you don’t see the Way, you don’t see it even as you walk on it.

The other day I had a letter from a longtime friend. “I keep in touch with you through your blog,” she wrote. I felt guilty, because if my writing is a way to keep in touch with friends, I’m not a very good friend. I don’t write much anymore, least of all here. Not sure why, except fewer topics occupy my mind.  Still, that’s no reason to keep my distance. Hello, Leslie!

Someone asked me a while back if I was now “bicoastal.” That’s  because I seem to be taking a lot of trips back east to visit my daughter in New York. The question sounded ridiculous. Of course I’m not bicoastal. I have only one address, one home. But then I thought, “Why not?”  When you live as far west as I do, the place you’re most likely to travel is east. And from time to time, my daughter asks me to come. Any parent knows they would move mountains for a child, so why not move yourself? It suddenly seems extremely feasible and important to go, and so I do.

Once you make it to the airport, through security, and on board a plane, you can sit in one place and get anywhere. Land and exit the plane and you find that the same earth is underfoot, same sky overhead, and maybe just a little more rain. It’s not far, whatever time or trouble you think it takes.

When you walk the Way, it is not near, it is not far. If you are deluded you are mountains and rivers away from it.

This last trip was a purposeful one. A few months ago my daughter moved into a new apartment and started a full-time job. You might remember the shock after you start your first full-time job: you suddenly have no time for anything else. No time to cook, no time to eat, no time to make a home to come home to. A friend asked me what I was going to do on this trip, and I answered sheepishly, “Just cook and clean.” And he said, “You’re a really good mom.”

He proceeded to tell me about his twenty-third birthday, which was more than twenty years ago. He was just starting out, trying to make his way in the world. He didn’t tell any of his friends it was his birthday because he didn’t have the money to go out. He was still in school and also working, and he got back to his apartment late. When he walked in, he knew his mom had been there. She had cleaned, done his laundry, and filled the fridge. He sat down and cried then, and teared up even as he told me this story. He said it was the best day of his life.

Any day that you realize you are loved is the best day of your life. And, of course, any day you give your love is as good as it gets.

I talked recently with my good friends, podcasters Lori and Stephen Saux about love, patience, and trusting wherever you are. Maybe this is a good place and time to join us.

Photo by Matt Le on Unsplash


  1. Beautiful!!!

    Comment by Lana Wertz — October 12, 2022 @ 11:28 am

  2. What a beautiful way to start my day! I LOVE the conversations you have with these two wonderful humans. As I listened I was reminded of one of the later chapters of Susan Cain’s book, Quiet. Your conversation today was reinforcement of an idea that just because the world has so many opinions on how (and who) we should be, there is great value in allowing all things and people to be as we are.
    “We’ll see” … just those words make me smile.

    Comment by Bonnie Rae — October 13, 2022 @ 8:09 am

  3. We love you lady. You make this world a better place. Closer than that my heart is better for knowing you.

    Comment by Lori Saux — October 13, 2022 @ 3:12 pm

  4. Ah, that story about your friend’s birthday, very moving.
    My mother dropped me off in my new town for college. We put my stuff in my new room, went and bought a new mattress and then she took me to lunch at a fancy department store before she went home and I went to my first “thing”. In the evening I rang her to thank her and she told me I had forgotten some things in the car. She told me she had left them for me at the customer service. When I went to pick it up it turned out to be cooking things she had bought for me there, because I had to cook my own meals.
    It is lovely when a relationship is truly personal.

    Comment by Simone — October 14, 2022 @ 5:39 pm

  5. Your words are enough. Just the words and how they are strung together. They help with delusion. You are loved.

    Comment by Larry Misiak — December 13, 2022 @ 7:31 am

  6. Andy Williams says “It’s the happiest season of them all.” It’s not always. “The path is not near or far. If deluded, it is rivers and mountains away.” The Way is so stoic, dare I say unfeeling. Where are deep, sometimes dark emotions, addressed in the Way? How does the Way help us feel better? Larry

    Comment by Larry Misiak — December 20, 2022 @ 9:04 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

archives by month