prayer for a wife becoming

October 15th, 2012

I’ve noticed that how we load the dishwasher says everything about the difference between my husband and me.Hand Wash Cold

May you be quiet
leave unsaid
let it lie
go to bed
crack a smile
pour a cup
find the toilet seat up
go the mile
Say hello say goodbye
share the kids share the cry
Come to know without proof
that the planets, aloof
Keep perfect orbit alone
by one light through one sky
never end
just begin
treat the stain rinse the dirt
let it drop
glass and plastic on top
scrape the plates
leave no trace
end the day in pure grace
find your rest
hearts be blessed
You can lose
You can live
You can turn and forgive
Then start over, always over

A companion to Prayer for a Mother Becoming.

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  1. I told Kenji about “the right way to load the dishwasher”. I assumed I was sharing a funny anecdote, he however was dead serious: his way IS the right way. So yes, the loading of the dishwasher says it all.

    Comment by Roos — October 15, 2012 @ 8:58 am

  2. Amen

    Comment by amiee — October 15, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

  3. That dishwasher loading scene was by far one of my favorites from Hand Wash Cold! So good!

    Comment by kasey — October 16, 2012 @ 6:49 am

  4. I am convinced that one of the biggest reasons we are still married after eight years, 13 years after our first date, is because of this attitude. I also believe that Hand Wash Cold helped me really understand this, then once put into action, I knew it was the only way. Thank you. You are such a shining light.

    Comment by Nichole — October 16, 2012 @ 7:18 am

  5. love this, thanks for showing me another way to be

    Comment by Colleen — October 16, 2012 @ 9:26 am

  6. I am so inspired by both of your books. Oh how much I would love for you to write a book on marriage! This little prayer will be printed to read daily. Thank you

    Comment by Leia — October 16, 2012 @ 1:05 pm

  7. Thank you, but I can’t write a book about marriage. Everything that needs to be said about marriage can be summed up in two words: I do.

    Comment by Karen Maezen Miller — October 16, 2012 @ 1:59 pm

  8. Thank you

    Comment by Leia — October 16, 2012 @ 4:31 pm

  9. Dear Maezen,
    This gem, the poetic summation of how I found my way to you…helped me see the truth of marriage and how to sit still and stay put. I do. Thank you. With love.

    Comment by Katharine — October 17, 2012 @ 5:58 am

  10. Oh, and my husband thanks you, too.

    Comment by Katharine — October 17, 2012 @ 5:58 am

  11. Karen, you have these wise prayers “for becoming,” is there one for becoming empty nesters?

    Comment by MJ — October 18, 2012 @ 3:27 pm

  12. I can only write from my own experience. So not yet.

    Comment by Karen Maezen Miller — October 18, 2012 @ 3:29 pm

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