Giving yourself away

January 28th, 2008

Yes, this is your Bloggy Giveaway. Just scroll down to the comments to enter. Check your entry to make sure that it includes a way I can reach you, or you won’t be included in the drawing.

Shortly after my daughter was born I spent long afternoons in shudders of sobs and laughter.

This was in the year 2000 before I could have entertained myself in front of this here screen for the better part of a day, so I parked my mushy butt in front of the great grandmother of all mommy blogs, the Neanderthal of reality TV, the ancient TLC. I would watch the hypnotic loop of The Baby Story followed by The Wedding Story followed by The Baby Story laughing and crying all the way.

I laughed at The Baby Story because most of these innocent, self-assured first-time mothers were about to give birth to an experience that was unlike anything they had ordered up, so contrary to their expectations, and so screamingly off-script. Then I bawled every time the baby was lifted up into their arms.

I cried at The Wedding Story because the goosepimply sense of romantic destiny, the adoration and most of all, friendship described by these couples was so unlike anything I experienced in my own marriage, either time. Neither time had I married what I would call “my best friend.” My best friend was back in Texas and if I called her and said I had a flat tire in the pouring rain on the 405 Freeway, she would have climbed on a plane with two umbrellas and a jack. If I had reached either one of my h-u-s-b-a-n-d-s, they would have said, “Call Triple A.” There are friends, and then there are advisors. My h-u-s-b-a-n-d Ned is not my most reliable friend, but he is my most consistent advisor.

By the time the happy couple on TV was drunk and dancing at the reception, by the time the wedding gown was stained and stepped on, the up-do coming undone, I would be laughing again.

We’d all better be laughing again, and soon.

Tears give way to laughter, laughter to tears. Marriage, motherhood, life, keeps handing us the opportunity to give ourselves away, and that’s how we become our own best friend and advisor. We marry ourselves for life, and we join Triple A. Everyone else who comes into the picture is there for laughs. The laughs always begin amid the tears.


Join me for more fun with marriage all week. And just for grins, here’s your chance to win an autographed copy of my book, Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood by leaving a comment here. The winner will be drawn after 12 noon PST on Sunday, Feb. 3. Domestic addresses only. Make sure your comment links to your own blog or contains your email address so I can contact you when you win. Good luck!


  1. thanks

    Comment by lilballr02 — January 30, 2008 @ 2:51 pm

  2. Please enter me!

    Comment by Linda — January 30, 2008 @ 3:01 pm

  3. Great giveaway! Count me in.

    Comment by Bebemiqui — January 30, 2008 @ 5:18 pm

  4. I would love a copy of your book!

    Comment by angelaandconnor at — January 30, 2008 @ 5:25 pm

  5. great giveaway! πŸ™‚

    Comment by Corina — January 30, 2008 @ 6:39 pm

  6. Thanks for the giveaway!

    Comment by Piseco — January 30, 2008 @ 6:54 pm

  7. What a wonderful giveaway. I would love to own a copy of your book. Please enter me in your drawing. Thanks,Cindi

    Comment by windycindy — January 30, 2008 @ 7:52 pm

  8. Please enter me. I would love to win this giveaway!

    Comment by Taryn — January 30, 2008 @ 8:33 pm

  9. Yes, please enter me in your drawing! I recently found your blog and really resonate with your writings, i’d love to receive your book, directly from you, yay! And then i can stop trying to come up with not so subtle hints to my h-u-s-b-a-n-d that i’d love your book for my birthday πŸ™‚


    Comment by Andrea — January 30, 2008 @ 8:33 pm

  10. Trusting that now is the time to de-lurk in order to enter this contest.


    Comment by Joan — January 30, 2008 @ 8:51 pm

  11. i would love to leave your book!

    Comment by Val gal — January 30, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

  12. An accomplished author! Wow, I am impressed.

    I would love to read your book and experience motherhood through your eyes.

    Comment by onangelwings — January 30, 2008 @ 9:29 pm

  13. Sounds like a fun book. can’t wait. Please enter me . katie_mmartin [at] yahoo (dot) com

    Comment by Anonymous — January 30, 2008 @ 11:41 pm

  14. Great contest! Count me in!

    Comment by carolsue — January 31, 2008 @ 1:29 am

  15. I’m behind on reading blogs! I loved it when you said, “We marry ourselves…” Oh how true. I would say my husband is my best friend because there is no one else I know that can take that title. My female friends are scattered. They don’t live near me anymore. Yet, he does give me everything I need in a friend. I miss my girlfriends very much.

    Comment by Shelli — January 31, 2008 @ 2:54 am

  16. What a great title, very catchy. Would love to read it!

    Comment by Ginny — January 31, 2008 @ 3:06 am

  17. Please enter me.

    Comment by HΓ©lΓ¨ne — January 31, 2008 @ 3:55 am

  18. This looks like a great read.

    taowyn (at) gmail (dot) com

    Comment by T'aowyn — January 31, 2008 @ 4:21 am

  19. Oh boy, I’d love to win this. Your blog is so interesting! I’d enjoy this for sure!

    Comment by heather h — January 31, 2008 @ 5:24 am

  20. This is so nice! Thank You!

    kpuleski at gmail dot com

    Comment by Karen — January 31, 2008 @ 9:07 am

  21. Enter me in your giveaway, please. Thank you!

    Comment by Joanna — January 31, 2008 @ 12:38 pm

  22. I’m a SAHM who home schools a 13-yr-old son and schleps a 15-yr-old daughter 40 mins round trip to school twice a day, and has a hubby who works at home…which essentially entails offering his unsolicited opinion about what son and I should be doing at every twist and bend. I asked him how he would feel if I marched into his office several times a day to offer my ideas on how he should be doing HIS job…utter silence. The badgering stops for a day or two before he amps it up again. It is very peaceful here when he’s on the road!
    Don’t get me wrong–he’s a great guy, and my #1 supporter, but damn! he’s a buttinski!
    I think I should be awarded the book because 1) I practice Zen Buddhism and 2) I’m turning 50 on Monday. My e-mail is
    Warm regards, Dana

    Comment by dana — January 31, 2008 @ 7:40 pm

  23. Would love to win. You didn’t specify domestic address of which country??? My address is a domestic address to where I live.

    Comment by Susan — January 31, 2008 @ 9:21 pm

  24. I would love to win your book! I have heard good things about your blog. I will bookmark it and come back to read more… you know… after I enter the other 400 giveaways…

    Thanks for the chance to win!

    Comment by Shama-Lama Mama — January 31, 2008 @ 9:54 pm

  25. I would love to read your book.

    Comment by Tanya — January 31, 2008 @ 10:14 pm

  26. Count me in πŸ˜€

    Comment by Anastasia — January 31, 2008 @ 10:16 pm

  27. Very nice, thanks.

    Comment by redfantum — January 31, 2008 @ 10:32 pm

  28. Your husband works on Mars, wow. I enjoyed reading your posts this week!

    Comment by soldierdeb — January 31, 2008 @ 11:01 pm

  29. Ooh, I love your blog and would love to read your book….


    Comment by Lainey — January 31, 2008 @ 11:42 pm

  30. I would love to read your book πŸ™‚

    Comment by Gloria — January 31, 2008 @ 11:57 pm

  31. I always love new authors – I’d love to read it. Thanks for the giveaway!


    Comment by JewelsHud — February 1, 2008 @ 12:54 am

  32. I have been meaning to read your book and this would be a golden opportunity. Thank you for this amazing giveaway and please enter me!

    Comment by Amanda — February 1, 2008 @ 2:19 am

  33. Your book sounds good. πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the chance to win! πŸ™‚


    Comment by Audra Marie — February 1, 2008 @ 3:32 am

  34. I’d love to read your book! Thanks!

    Comment by Shannon — February 1, 2008 @ 3:48 am

  35. Count me in! Thanks for offering this blessing.

    Comment by The Conspirator — February 1, 2008 @ 7:22 am

  36. ‘goodnight mush’

    bedtime, please, please, please
    screaming, Vicks and Goodnight Moon
    tears, snot and, yes, joy

    LOVE your blog! (swamimommy)

    Comment by Anonymous — February 1, 2008 @ 4:02 pm

  37. I’d love to read your book! Thanks for giving one away:)

    Comment by Tabitha — February 1, 2008 @ 5:33 pm

  38. Would like to read your book, let me win it here!!

    Comment by danandmarsh — February 1, 2008 @ 7:19 pm

  39. I would love a copy of your book. It’s been on my wish list for awhile now…

    Comment by shauna — February 1, 2008 @ 9:14 pm

  40. I love your posts. Thank your for doing this contest, it will be fun. I would like a chance to enter. You can reach me at

    Comment by Eileen — February 2, 2008 @ 12:42 am

  41. It sounds like a terrific read!! I’d love to win your book. ( )

    Comment by Meg — February 2, 2008 @ 12:47 am

  42. I’d love to read your book! Your blog sounds really good too. I’ll be back for sure.

    Comment by Bri — February 2, 2008 @ 1:12 am

  43. Would really enjoy reading the book! Sign me up!


    Comment by Anonymous — February 2, 2008 @ 1:20 am

  44. Please enter in your contest

    Comment by Michelle B. — February 2, 2008 @ 2:00 am

  45. This sound very familiar. Please sign me up.

    Comment by Uniquely Yours — February 2, 2008 @ 4:24 am

  46. would love to win… thanks πŸ™‚

    Comment by jennifer57 — February 3, 2008 @ 1:26 am

  47. This looks like one pretty cool book. Thanks for the giveaway.

    Comment by Heather — February 3, 2008 @ 5:51 am

  48. Sounds like the book I need!!

    Comment by Three P's in a Pod — February 3, 2008 @ 6:29 am

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