An outbreak of peace

February 5th, 2008

Some things said are not to be forgotten:

Mommy, I’m OK with it.

These four words, I’m OK with it, which jarred so offensively on first hearing, sounding so preternaturally teen, can be useful when the mother in question buys an overpriced jacket from a mall retailer with disturbingly oversexed girl’s clothing, washes it once in cold and extracts its shrunken form from the dryer’s delicate cycle, then shrewdly purchases an oversized and durable black nylon replacement which is worn to the weekly “Totally Girly” after-school club where daughter cultivates self-confidence through the liberal application of nail polish, then arrives home with a streak of non-soluble color down the front of her new jacket, an adornment that proves resistant to her mother’s gasps and shrieks as well as to heavy dosing in acetone, detergent and full-blown maternal hysteria, unleashing a noxious cloud of fear, shame, sobbing and mutual post-traumatic regret.

I’m OK with it. Honest. The alternative is too savage for anyone to bear.

“If you really understand the condition of emptiness that underlies all phenomenal existence, you will be content no matter where you are and no matter what you are doing. This contentment itself is to be Buddha. The real meaning of attaining enlightenment is to attain this state of mind.” ā€“ Yasutani Roshi


This is Not to Be Forgotten Week on the Road, where we share Some Things Said.


  1. I’m sorry about the jacket. I may need photographic evidence to judge whether the damage is as bad as it sounds. Maybe you can find a really great jacket somewhere for cheap.

    Comment by Someone Being Me — February 5, 2008 @ 3:35 pm

  2. Me,
    My point being that nothing is as bad as it sounds and is in fact not bad at all, judgment being a mental torture device that has its hold on me until sanity breaks out.

    Comment by Karen — February 5, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

  3. Yeah, you just have to let it all go. Stuff is stuff. Now a limb, eyeball, or spinal cord – I’d freak out if those got damaged. šŸ™‚

    “nothing is as bad as it sounds and is in fact not bad at all”

    Well said.

    Comment by denise — February 5, 2008 @ 4:06 pm

  4. I remember the same thing happening to me when I was around your daugher’s age. My mother had just bought me a pair of jeans which I put on upon arriving home. I tripped and fell while running up the sidewalk and tore a hole in the knee of the pants. What I remember most about the incident was not the joy of acquiring the new pants, but the fear and anxiety I had regarding her reaction. Truthfully, I can’t remember how she reacted, but the memories of my feelings have helped guide me in my interactions with my daughters.

    Comment by Kristin H. — February 5, 2008 @ 5:34 pm

  5. As I learned from a native Texan:

    “You got the same pants to get glad in.”

    Something I ought to try today, considering my mood.

    Comment by kathryn — February 5, 2008 @ 11:04 pm

  6. It is over for Georgia, so it is over for you. Next time she will be more careful.

    I spilled nail polish remover on my mother’s new kitchen table. It took of the varnish. I was so scared I made things worse by trying to wipe it off with a napkin. She usually went nuts when we scratched the table with a plate, but reacted really well to the destroying of the whole table. I guess once it was too far gone there was no point in being attached to it anymore.

    Comment by Mika — February 5, 2008 @ 11:59 pm

  7. After a day of NOT being okay with so many moments, including this one, I could use a little of this mojo.

    Comment by Jena Strong — February 6, 2008 @ 1:10 am

  8. Maybe try splatter painting it?

    Comment by Moanna — February 7, 2008 @ 1:47 am

  9. My husband has a similar story of ruining some very good, new shoes when he was a little boy. And pants.

    Comment by Shelli — February 7, 2008 @ 2:46 am

  10. What?! You shop at Limited, Too??????

    You are officially off your (garage sale) rocker.

    Stuff is stuff. Yup. That’s why I’m still trying to get rid of everything before the girls realize that stuff is more than just stuff.

    Comment by Shawn — February 7, 2008 @ 11:55 am

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