Today Georgia found this forgotten diary in my nightstand and called it hers. I slid it back to my spot after a lapse. So much is different. Saying nothing says it all. Her dad is far away on a long trip and Georgia has had her fill of me. I am so tired. I have gone and given everything away again. There she is crying out in her sleep. I covered her and rubbed her back. She will feel it 50 years from now.
Yes that is the thing with children, sometimes you just forget to stop giving until there is nothing left for yourself.
You can question whether that is doing them a favour as a person.
My eldest is quite melancholy. When unexpected setbacks happen she feels that, I jump into immediate problem solving. Were these two things merged into one person, that would be perfect, now we do run into misunderstandings. She thinks I don’t care in those moments, while I don’t want her to feel like what went wrong is who she is as a person.
A (virtual) hug for you. I hope you find some rest somewhere in between the moments with your child.
This is mothering.
Comment by Debra Bures — August 3, 2019 @ 3:06 pm
But … love.
Comment by Bonnie Rae — August 3, 2019 @ 5:39 pm
Yes that is the thing with children, sometimes you just forget to stop giving until there is nothing left for yourself.
You can question whether that is doing them a favour as a person.
My eldest is quite melancholy. When unexpected setbacks happen she feels that, I jump into immediate problem solving. Were these two things merged into one person, that would be perfect, now we do run into misunderstandings. She thinks I don’t care in those moments, while I don’t want her to feel like what went wrong is who she is as a person.
A (virtual) hug for you. I hope you find some rest somewhere in between the moments with your child.
Comment by Simone — August 4, 2019 @ 2:52 am