Posts Tagged ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you’

funny pages

October 5th, 2009    -    3 Comments

11 Reasons to Drink Water – and thirst isn’t one of them.
5 Ways to Age Naturally – trust me, there’s only one way. Age.
101 Ways to Say I Love You – and “I love you” isn’t one of them.
13 Tips to Doing Less – first, don’t read the story.
8 Reasons Why You Can’t Pay Attention – I only counted one before I lost attention.

An immodest proposal

August 30th, 2009    -    5 Comments

For reforming healthcare in the United States, preventing the angry and overprivileged from being a burden to their children or country and making them beneficial to the public.

1. Pass healthcare reform.
2. Outlaw televised town halls.
3. Cut out television.

4. Read quietly.

5. Remove refrigerator lightbulbs.

6. Better yet, curtail residential electricity between 9 p.m.-5 a.m.

7. Go to bed when it gets dark.

8. Raise gasoline taxes and fund a National Sidewalk Act.

9. Pound salt, hit the bricks or take a hike.

10. Don’t believe anyone who says they can see Russia from Alaska.

11. Eat like the French. Or rather, don’t eat like the French don’t eat.
12. Regulate cupholders.

13. Forget the drive-thru.

14. Ban antibacterial soap.

15. Floss.

16. Rebrand, reposition, repurpose and relaunch beets, cabbage, chard and sardines.

17. Hand wash cold. Line dry. Cool iron when needed.

18. Trust me, this only happens in Hollywood.

19. Pry this computer from my cold, dead hands.

20. Laugh. It’s the only medicine you can afford, and it may be the only one that actually works.

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Covering the ground

April 2nd, 2009    -    9 Comments

This Saturday I’ll be giving the dharma talk at the Hazy Moon Zen Center. Come and join our morning program of sitting. And if you don’t know how to sit, then take our beginner’s class. We will all be beginners on Saturday.

This weekend Georgia and I leave for Amsterdam where we’ll be seeing the sights and making some of our own at a Zen Mama workshop on April 8 co-sponsored by Lof magazine for working mothers. They are giving everyone who comes the Dutch copy of my book and a piece of cake. Come for the cake! I am already so deeply impressed by the hospitality and sincerity of my Dutch hosts. We have a saying in Zen, “covering the ground where you stand.” It is the signpost of self-mastery. I feel as though I can do this one lying down, and laugh my head off.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, I’m out to prove.

I’ll be popping in from time to time next week, especially to offer my up-to-now untold personal testimonial about Amy Tiemann’s fantastic new edition of Mojo Mom, debuting on April 7.

Kom voor de taart!

Photo by Denise Andrade

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The all day Thin Mint diner

March 4th, 2009    -    9 Comments

Where you can never be too thin or too rich.

Cafe crème d’thin – Place two crushed Thin Mints in the filter basket and add grounds to brew your morning coffee normally. I’ve never tried this myself so you might just want to make regular coffee and enjoy a robust cup of Thin Mints on the side. You still get all the flavor and triple the thinness.

Healthiest thin mint oatmeal – Microwave a cup of healthy instant oats in super healthy soy or no-fat milk for 1-2 minutes until desired healthy doneness. Crumble a Thin Mint on top. For a healthier version, do not add a tablespoon of chocolate chips.

Mid-morning power thin snack – Eat 12 Thin Mints in under two minutes.

Mint thick lunch smoothie – Vital energy in a glass! Empty a box of Thin Mints into a blender. Add crushed ice and a cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream. For extra thickness, add a whole peeled organic banana, but the truly thin do without the added trouble and calories.

Afternoon power thin advantage – Challenge yourself! Eat 24 Thin Mints in less than a minute. Power down and you’ll make short work of it before you look up even once!

Fresh and easy garden mint dinner soufflé – Line a pie plate with crushed Thin Mints. Spoon contents of eight chocolate flavored pudding cups into the center. Top with two fresh mint leaves from your own garden. Remove the leaves and it’s ready to eat!

Afterthinner emergency – You’re out of Thin Mints. Quick, contact your favorite local Girl Scout before her 8:30 bedtime.

Dedicated to our beloved long-distance cookie customers. Your crumbs are in the mail.

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