What I know to be untrue

October 19th, 2009

You’ll hear from me first thing Monday.

We’re in your neighborhood working and we’d like to give you a free estimate.
It’s all your fault.
No child will be left behind.
Drinking in moderation is good for you.
The kids are asleep.
It’s educational.
When it’s gone, it’s gone.
Only this once, I promise.
I’ll eat the leftovers.
I can’t live without you.
You forced my hand.
I understand.
I can’t take it a minute longer.
Guaranteed to keep the weight off.
I had no choice.
The world will never be the same.
Regulation destroys innovation.
We’re fighting for their freedom.
That’s why Canadians come here.
We will never sell your email address.
Limited time only.
We know you have a choice of carriers, and we thank you for choosing to fly with us.
I never go on Facebook.

Oh! And another one: I’m finished.

What about you? What do you know to be untrue?

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30 Comments »

  1. Yes Mom. My room is clean.

    Comment by Shalet — October 19, 2009 @ 10:51 pm

  2. A good mother ALWAYS_______.
    A good mother NEVER________.

    Fill in the blanks. Talk amongst yourselves.

    Comment by Emme — October 19, 2009 @ 10:58 pm

  3. Our technician will be there between 10 and 2:00.

    You'll get used to it.

    No one will ever notice.

    Comment by Meg — October 19, 2009 @ 11:41 pm

  4. This is the band's final tour.

    Comment by pixie — October 20, 2009 @ 1:16 am

  5. "Something is changing. I can feel it. I swear, this time, I'm totally going to turn it around."

    Comment by Shea — October 20, 2009 @ 1:55 am

  6. None of it is your fault.

    If a little's good, a lot's better.

    Whatever you want, dear.

    Comment by Beth P. — October 20, 2009 @ 2:21 am

  7. She'll definitely be back at school tomorrow.

    Comment by Melissa Moore — October 20, 2009 @ 2:25 am

  8. "i don't know."

    (really, that was my first thought… then i realized how UNtrue it was!)

    Comment by Terri Fischer — October 20, 2009 @ 5:18 am

  9. "Thank you for holding. We appreciate your call…"

    "Leakproof diapers."

    "Better than viagra"

    "You've just won the Million Dollar Sweepstakes!" (Still holding out hope for this one, but fearing, yes, it might just be untrue…)

    Comment by Lana — October 20, 2009 @ 12:11 pm

  10. 'I don't have time for practice today'.

    Sooooo untrue.

    🙂

    Comment by Els — October 20, 2009 @ 1:09 pm

  11. no questions asked.

    Comment by angela — October 20, 2009 @ 1:56 pm

  12. sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

    dear god, why would anyone ever say such an untruth? yikes.

    Comment by wifemotherexpletive — October 20, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

  13. Your factory warranty is about to expire.

    A healthy baby is all that matters.

    Comment by Stephanie — October 20, 2009 @ 3:58 pm

  14. "I don't know if I can give you what you need."

    Comment by jena strong — October 20, 2009 @ 6:59 pm

  15. Babies sleep through the night.
    You shouldn't co-sleep.
    You should co-sleep.
    You should nurse.
    You should stop nursing.
    You should decide what to do with your baby.
    You should stick to what you already decided.
    That baby will never have a valuable life because of her diagnosis.
    She will be a burden to you and your family.

    Comment by Cole — October 20, 2009 @ 10:35 pm

  16. Don't worry, I've got your back.

    I'll do it tomorrow.

    She'll get over it.

    Big girls don't cry.

    The good die young. (they die old too)

    Comment by Savoring Simplicity — October 20, 2009 @ 11:15 pm

  17. This won't hurt a bit.
    We're nearly there.
    It's nearly over.
    You'll get used it.

    Comment by kazari — October 21, 2009 @ 12:59 am

  18. There's no reason to be afraid.

    Comment by Nancy — October 21, 2009 @ 1:27 am

  19. Wow! I'm so impressed. We should publish all these lies and they would be called The Truth.

    Comment by Karen Maezen Miller — October 21, 2009 @ 2:09 am

  20. Just one more time, mom.

    It wasn't me!

    You won't know the difference.

    It's not you, it's me.

    Guaranteed.

    No Obligation.

    Comment by Lisa (Mommy Mystic) — October 21, 2009 @ 6:10 am

  21. I'd be thrilled to chair the _______committee.

    Comment by Kelly Hudgins — October 21, 2009 @ 7:21 pm

  22. If you change your mind you can cancel the contract within three days.

    There's a no risk guarantee.

    A simple phone call will cancel the subscription.

    Comment by Janet — October 22, 2009 @ 11:05 am

  23. This will just take a minute.
    I didn't mean to…..

    Comment by PresArch — October 22, 2009 @ 11:06 am

  24. We just got naked but we did'nt have sex.

    Comment by Cat — October 22, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

  25. I don't care.
    It doesn't matter to me.

    Comment by Renae C. — October 23, 2009 @ 10:08 am

  26. "She didn't mean anything to me."

    Comment by Kristin H. — October 23, 2009 @ 12:23 pm

  27. "I never ___" (fill in the blank).
    "It's not your fault, it's mine."
    "This has never happened before."(erectile dysfunction or quickness)

    What a great post! One of your readers sent me to your site because I wrote a post called "I Know a No in Disguise" that she felt was hitting the same points.

    Check it out at: blog.candelariasilva.com

    Comment by Can-Can — October 23, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

  28. You're not worth it.

    You have to do it alone.

    Comment by Stacy (Mama-Om) — October 24, 2009 @ 4:49 pm

  29. i need coffee to wake up in the morning.
    i can't make a living as an artist.
    my parents don't support me.
    i'd die if anything happened to you.

    what a great way of turning the tables… thanks 🙂

    Comment by Rachael — October 24, 2009 @ 6:40 pm

  30. We're on the way.
    I'll be right there.
    Yes, dear. Just a minute.

    Comment by Cheryl — October 26, 2009 @ 2:23 am

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