I know

January 29th, 2017

Last week, I woke from a frightening dream in which a friend had gone missing. Nervous, I sent her an email and asked about her health. She told me that she had just been referred to a specialist for something serious, and had suddenly entered a place of uncertainty and worry.

Two nights ago, another friend appeared in my sleep and asked me to say a service for someone with a terminal illness. In the dream, we were in a vast temple, darkened by deep shadows. I ran across the long length of an endless corridor to find the altar and light the incense, panicked at the time being lost, the prayers unsaid.

Yesterday a good friend told me he had been to the hospital earlier in the week. His heartbeat was racing and he was short of breath. Tests were run, but no cause could be found. He thought he knew what it was. He had been waking at night in deep terror. His were the symptoms of profound anxiety.

This morning, a friend texted me and said that I had come to her in a dream last night. She was terrified about our country and sobbing. I appeared out of nowhere and hugged her. Then I said, “I know.”

In the name of terror, we are being terrified. In the name of security, we are being attacked. In the name of freedom, we have been made hostage. The temple is dark.

But this I have seen, and you have seen, and we can trust. Our fear is collective; our tears flow in common; our prayers ascend in one eternal sky. You appear to me and I appear to you. We are in this together.

I know. And I will always respond.

I am writing more than ever, saying all that I can. If you wish to subscribe to this blog and receive new posts in your email, please sign up here.

16 Comments »

  1. Thank you. Just thank you.

    Comment by Jo Ann — January 29, 2017 @ 9:54 am

  2. Thank you. Yes, the anxiety is very real and I worry about millions of people having serious health problems and descending into depression in the coming weeks and months. Self care and unplugging for a while are imperative if we are to survive with our minds and bodies intact. We must support each other now more than ever!

    Comment by Beth — January 29, 2017 @ 10:41 am

  3. Thank you so much Karen for your blog and for this latest installment. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, almost every night since the election, wracked with tremendous anxiety. Somehow it helps, in a deep, profound way, to know that others are experiencing this as well. (Yes–it is happening to others. No–we’re not crazy to be dismayed, disturbed, and wracked with anxiety about current events.)

    Thank you for having the courage to write. Thank you for your support. Keep up the good work.

    Love and gratitude to you and to every single one of us lying awake in our beds in the heart of the night. . .

    Comment by Paula — January 29, 2017 @ 10:49 am

  4. My dear teacher,
    Thank you for your words . . . The darkness does indeed build.
    But I keep believing and chanting . . .
    Light overcomes darkness
    Light overcomes darkness.
    Then I rise up and make phone calls, organize, plan, act .. .
    To assist the light.
    Love to you dear Maezen

    Comment by Elizabeth Gore — January 29, 2017 @ 11:24 am

  5. Oh how I needed this, needed you.
    My stomach has been in knots for days, yesterday was horrible.
    Thank you so much for being here.
    Love
    Marcea

    Comment by Marcea — January 29, 2017 @ 1:38 pm

  6. thank you for this. We are in this together. My dreams have been deep and intense too. I know and I will always respond, too. Grateful for your writings and wisdom.

    Comment by Shannon — January 29, 2017 @ 4:46 pm

  7. “When I despair, I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been murderers and tyrants, and for a time they can seem invincible. But in the end they always fall. Think of it, always.” Gandhi
    In my heart of hearts, I do believe this is true. Trying to keep my anxiety at bay by breathing.

    Comment by Debra Bures — January 29, 2017 @ 5:26 pm

  8. “The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.
    Nothing real can be threatened.
    Nothing unreal exists.
    Herein lies the peace of God.”

    Dear Karen, I think it is a collective fear, that is rooted deep in all of us and it is coming to the surface and spreading across the world so we can purge ourselves from it and change, become aware. Together. We need to shelter in each others arms, and support each other when we lose our bearing. Because we are all human.
    Trump has given a face to forces that have undermined western society and have caused a collective fear in our societies for the last two/ three decades. Now it has a face and a voice it is easier to see and easier to choose differently. The night is always darkest just before the dawn.
    I hope and pray your friends are safe.

    Comment by Simone — January 30, 2017 @ 3:52 am

  9. The horror which is unfolding in our beloved country is hard to comprehend.
    As I nurse my terminally ill husband, I see the blessings in doing those little things to make his life better. I never could have believed that caring for him would be therapeutic for me.

    In those moments I am able to push the anxiety of our country to the back of my mind.

    Thank you for your posts.

    _()_

    Comment by Jude Smith — January 30, 2017 @ 6:20 am

  10. Dear Jude, there is a woman in the movie “A man called Ove” (it’s nominated for an academy award) who takes care of her paralysed husband. A care company tries to take him off her hands and she tells them: “Where is the love in doing that?” I was so moved by that.
    Caring is truly a gift. It’s not easy though.
    I wish you all the love acceptance and strength that you need to get through this and hope you can do this in a meaningful way for both of you.

    Comment by Simone — January 30, 2017 @ 3:37 pm

  11. As always, thank you.

    Comment by Michelle P — January 30, 2017 @ 3:54 pm

  12. Oh Maezen, thank you. In my 39 years I have never been afraid to live in my own country, afraid for my country. And so darn angry at the people who put us here. Your words bring me some comfort that I so desperately need.

    Comment by Diamond — January 31, 2017 @ 5:35 pm

  13. There is so much heaviness in my house. My husband is as baffled and upset as I am. And there seems no end to it and no solution.

    As well, we both have family members who voted for this monster. I cannot get around the loathing and disappointment I feel for their choice. We are supposed to see my branch of these ignorant fools in May, for a Texas wedding. Not sure how that is going to work. I feel sick about it already.

    Thanks for your wisdom and love, Maezen. And for providing a place where I can be completely honest about the sadness and dread.

    Comment by Clare — February 1, 2017 @ 9:32 am

  14. Family is like that: often a case of presence and not preference. I can remember feeling sick about George W. Bush’s two terms. Sick for the first because it was stolen; sick for the second because it wasn’t. Although at least GWB tried to pretend to be president of this country. Evidence that, with ignorance, we can adapt ourselves to what are clearly catastrophic and irreversible conditions, hence the old adage about the frog who will sit in water until it boils.

    Comment by Karen Maezen Miller — February 1, 2017 @ 11:37 am

  15. Thank you for voicing what I feel.

    Comment by Robin — February 5, 2017 @ 1:38 pm

  16. Thank you for knowing
    And for saying
    And for loving.

    Comment by Wendy — February 6, 2017 @ 8:16 am

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