Delinquent to the dance

June 10th, 2007

As I start, I am reminded again that I start late. Late to bloom, late to love, late to marriage (the one that counted) late to motherhood, late to life and all its messy lessons. I come around again on things, come around to a different way of looking at them. And so I’ve come around to a different way of looking at this thing here: the blog.

I start by looking at things from the outside. As though it is for someone else, by someone else, about someone else. And then slowly I begin to see that it is not that way at all. You see, I read a lot of blogs. It is me reading, me responding, me concurring, me finding solace in a shared experience, me finding solidarity in a stranger’s familiar story. It is only me; it can only ever be me. Instead of tagging along on the perimeter, poking a poignant comment here and there, wagging my finger fore and aft, it is time that I began in earnest to blog to me. Because I’m the only one here.

We are so slow to commit to ourselves, aren’t we? Looking always for the external acceptance, the validation, the scattered applause rippling to a crescendoed ovation. I’m reminded of a weekend trip to Taos, a girlfriends’ trip over a decade ago. I was single and living in the painful torque between doubt and expectancy that I would love again. My best friend and I stepped into a jewelry shop (every other shop in Taos is a jewelry shop). I studied the rings in the locked cases. “I will marry myself!” I pronounced suddenly, and bought the ring that I wore on my left hand for a scant half-year before the real deal arrived, right on schedule.

“I will blog to myself!” I pronounce.

As writerly self disciplines go, it is as good as any.

So I am late; I am late to the dance. But I am dancing. I am dancing. I am dancing.

6 Comments »

  1. Oh, welcome to the dance! I’m delighted you’re here and shall add you posthaste to my blogroll at A Mindful Life. 🙂

    If you need any guidance on handling Blogger’s interface, let me know.

    Comment by Kathryn — June 10, 2007 @ 10:46 pm

  2. Karen, we are so glad to have you join the blogging community. I have appreciated your thoughtful comments on my Mojo Mom blog and I am thrilled to be able to follow your ongoing story at Cheerio Road.

    Comment by MojoMom — June 11, 2007 @ 4:44 pm

  3. and we’re dancing right along with you.

    Comment by Wendy — June 11, 2007 @ 5:14 pm

  4. Thank you sisters. I scuttle across your bridge.

    Comment by Karen — June 14, 2007 @ 3:36 am

  5. You dance so beautifully! Welcome dear Karen, to the blogosphere. The natives are quite friendly here 🙂

    Comment by Leah — June 14, 2007 @ 4:14 am

  6. Here I am, so very late to the beginning!

    Comment by bullseyebaby — December 8, 2009 @ 2:00 am

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