I can remember years ago when a certain magazine debuted. I was kind of stumped. Four hundred glossy pages of advice and ads on how to live a simple life? Twelve times a year? I could think of one way to really simplify that. And in that spirit, I offer this post so that you can have the sheer pleasure of ignoring it.
Simplifying your life? It’s not so simple, according to these 18 ways.
Feeling productive? Phooey. Why not kill time reading these 8 ways to save time.
Need to exercise? Wait! First build up your motivation these 31 ways.
Losing weight? Don’t start without digesting these 80 ways to lose weight.
Going on vacation? Don’t leave the house before you read the 7 sites you must check out before checking out.
Making a decision? Don’t do that! Just decide to read 13 ways to make a decision.
Getting stressed? Stress even more over these 6 ways to de-stress.
Watch too much TV? Surf these 9 ways to go back and watch some more.
Exhausted by all the advice? Stay awake even longer reading these 10 tips on how to sleep.
Still breathing? Hold your breath until you read these 5 reasons to monitor your breathing.
Are you even still alive? Take your pulse with this easy 39-point checklist on how to live.
Feeling better? What a waste! Think hard about the 8 reasons not to be an optimist.
Have I shot myself in the foot with these good-natured jabs? Wish I’d consulted these 10 simple ways to keep from messing up my life.
Now what should I title this post? Wise up and read how to lure readers by palming off useless information, time-wasters, drivel and common sense in 8 compelling ways.