the fog of love

October 18th, 2011

Dense fog covered the foothills this morning. It rolled over the ground in such billows I thought it might be fire. But it was love.

I used to wish I had the presence of mind to mark my calendar every time my daughter caught some bug so I could track the attacks each year. I would no longer be overwhelmed by the slog of sneezes and wheezes, sinus and ear infections, if I could see the enemy coming.

These days I would mark my calendar with something else. The days one of us shatters and breaks apart, loosens a scream or a slam, and we enter the fog of anger where neither of us sees a way out. We become each other’s enemy. Perhaps they are equally predictable.

What am I thinking? That I can outrun the trouble? Outsmart the pain?

As before, I wake my daughter every morning with a kiss.

“I sure do love you.”

“I love you too.”

My wounds are just stones in my shoe. Tiny, temporary, and easy to take care of. Not like the path ahead of this family, and this family, and this one, who are teaching me so much more about love and fog and waking each morning with a kiss.

“I’m worried about my friends walking to school,” she said as we entered a thick bank. I told her not to worry.

“When you are on the ground, you can see right in front of you. Not far, but just far enough to keep going.”

I am sure of nothing but this: I sure do love you. Love is the one thing for sure.

***
I hope you can make your way to Athens, Georgia this Saturday. It might be a far and long trip for both of us, but there will be love in return.

Love Beyond Limits parenting workshop in Athens, GA, Saturday, Oct. 22

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8 Comments »

  1. “When you are on the ground, you can see right in front of you. Not far, but just far enough to keep going.”
    The bricks in my shoes for sure keep me grounded. But it’s true: seeing just far enough paves the way.

    Comment by Roos — October 18, 2011 @ 9:07 am

  2. Holy wow…exactly what I needed to read today…
    the fog of anger has been thick at times around here. Thank you.

    Comment by Marcea — October 18, 2011 @ 9:30 am

  3. Roos’s comment reminds me of a quote by E.L. Doctorow: It’s like driving at night. You can never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.

    We’re all walking that dark, foggy path. Thanks for the illumination!

    Robin

    Comment by Robin — October 18, 2011 @ 11:59 am

  4. I just read “Notes from a Dragon Mom”. Saving me is LOVE. Thank you.

    Comment by heather — October 18, 2011 @ 12:23 pm

  5. four powerful stories to read, all touching my heart in different places. thank you Maezen for sharing.

    Comment by Anna — October 18, 2011 @ 9:10 pm

  6. Maybe this is how we should all try to start the day. “I sure do love you” to ourselves, to anyone else in the path of our hearts. Thanks…

    Comment by Bobbi — October 19, 2011 @ 1:52 am

  7. Sometimes when I feel lost, when the fog thickens, I come here, and I find a bright nugget of clarity and comfort. Days like today.
    xo

    Comment by Christine — October 20, 2011 @ 3:11 am

  8. I don’t visit as much as I should because clearly the fog has been thick around these parts, too. And the anger. Thank you for making me feel a tiny better about things today. Almost needed a phone call the other week … think I’m better. Will let you know. xoxoxo

    Comment by Shawn — October 26, 2011 @ 10:35 am

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